March 12th, 2006 by g3l3jane
I am so down..i really am. i feel like heaven has closed its doors for me. why did it have to be this way. i miss my mom. we had an arguement. and she don’t want to see me, (perhaps for now.) of all the things i would not want to happen is to see my mom so upset with me. i am a mama’s boy. i admit it. the hell withwhat they say…i want to make it up to her. i really want to. i love her…
then….
you who have controlled my herat placed a key to everything, though parts of the world kill us, you never left me…i was so low and there you are taking me up…stay with me…stay with my eternity…stay with my fantasies…i’ll be yours and you’ll be mine forever.
I AM SO DOWN… IM DROWNING… I WANT TO BREATHE… HELP "ME".. PLEASE!!!
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February 14th, 2006 by g3l3jane
Yes. We’re back… one of our unforgettable reunion… Mimi, Mami and me… it felt good seeing them… i guess it was destined for us to be together this day… yes, valentines day.. a day for the passionate ones…lovers! i thought tat this day could be an unforgettable one for me…(which eventually is)… i missed her! and it felt like hell. Mimi had her problem with her love one, Mami had the same thing…but me, nah! i was happy…but in pain! i had dreamt of a day of love, but this day ended roughly… i don’t know what happened…it happened again (without my control), and i hate it! i hate the fact that i don’t have the power to change things that easily. She loves me, (i guess so) i know…but what she’s doing was hard for me… i have to adjust at times, my friends told me to have a lot of patience…yeah they were right, i did! but it seemed like im so weak! isn’t this day special? she told me that there’s nothing special with the day, and it wounded me…i just can’t help but think that i was not good enough for her day to be special…that it’s as if i’m not existing…and i badly hope that what i’m thinking is wrong…it should be!
i love her with all my heart and it pained me so much seeing her lonely with me…
…but still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for…anonymous*
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November 6th, 2005 by g3l3jane
it seemed like it has been years since i’ve posted something here…
i really don’t have the intetion to update my blog… and i am not a fan of this either…
but i think this could help me ease the pain i am feelng ryt now…
too complicated… this is what my life is… i have been dwelling in a world full of lies and deception, a world where everybody enjoys happiness and solitude at the same time…
am i happy? no i am not! am i lonely? no i am not… weird! but this is what i feel…
i’d love and hate the things that changed in me… and now, i am not that very emotional and sentimental person who used to cry over passionate things… my family, my friends, sibak! they changed me a lot… and it could have been better if i have her by my side (to support me)… it’s been almost 4 years since i’ve held her close to me… i miss her so much… she’s been my strength (well except for my family and sibak!)… i think she’s the only one who taught me to walk courageously… and i am thankful for that…
i used to reminisce on moments we shared together… i used to… but now… again… it changed, she’s still on my mind but i don’t love her anymore… they (sibak) were ryt when they’ve said that letting go is the only way for me to be happy… she’s just a dream that’ll never come true…
i’ve learned my mistakes and i’ve hoped for the best…
and now… i’ve already placed myself on the seat of pain… dreaming that one day, i could not end up with what happened 4 years ago…
i survived… and now i am again on the verge of danger… i am now in the rest for good fate…
it’s time for me to bring once again my passionate dreams…
i dont want to b hurt agen… but loving her pleases me a lot…
but i know, if my intuition is ryt… she could only be another dream…
but hey… dreams do come true…right? 
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